Good morning, good evening, good afternoon. A haze hangs in the air as I write this. Laziness, love, despair, hate, hope, fear. All of them swimming around in my head and muddling things up all horrible-like. I want to say that it’ll go away if I just go about my day like normal, but something tells me that it can only get worse.

I’m caught between thinking that I should open my mouth and reveal how I feel how I really feel. And the other side of me thinks that having an anarchistic atheist as a daughter/sister might just rend what’s left of my closest family away from me. But what do I really need them for? Companionship? Love? Friendship? I tried all that. I don’t care about the same things they do. I don’t want to go chattering on and on about money, and means, and ‘life-skills’. They are there. They exist. But why is that any more important than a discussion about… the intelligence of whales. Or the evolution of man. Or the non-existence of Gods. These are the kinds of things that I’d let myself wander to in normal conversation. Followed by a moment of silence and some odd stares. The occasional callous answer. Then I’d wander off as though the whole thing was a mistake. Usually was. Where did I get off plugging actual brain work into mindless conversation? (This was in general, not just family functions.) No wonder child geniuses kill themselves in high school. There is no place for us, not really. We have to become these bull-headed crazies in order to bulldoze all the incessant nattering out of the way and make room for our own.

Ugh. jdfjkftrjkrfjjfrjfrjfrkidekijdenjdekm…

So… I don’t think I’m going to get any laundry done today. At all. It’s just way too late in the day for all the diurnals to let me do anything well into the night, like I know it would take. I should plot for tomorrow, drink some chamomile tonight, spring up all fresh and rosy tomorrow morning, and hope I can go at it then…

Why, oh why, did Mom agree to let that beast of a man have a man-cave in the basement? At least I wouldn’t have to look at the only things uglier than he and his soul as I take loads of clothes up and down; his bastard-fugly fish. Have you ever seen a full grown oscar? How about an albino frog? I swear, THESE are the things that I would see if I had the ability to open my third eye and see into his soul. Nasty, crawling things, little beasts swimming in grey, translucent ooze covering a crack house in the middle of South Philly, crawling with the souls of all the cockroaches and waterbugs that he kills on the job.

(Damn, why did I not plan to write today?!? T_T… that was freakin’ good!)

Pokemon stuff. I ‘migrated’ the TM and some near-useless Pokemon from LeafGreen to Diamond. Then I went on a small money run with Giovanni. (What else did you expect cheesy me to name my Persian?) I have Custap Berries and Micles, too, if anyone wants. Only two extra each, with berries on the way. I know that they’re rare, so that’s why I offer. I’ll be on until eight pm est, so message me if you need. I would have Ganlons, as well, but that’s a long story. And I’m emo enough already. >.>…

I need to go dunk my hair. It smells, it’s itchy, and I think I have a rash of some sort. But just the thought of dousing my head in water makes my skin crawl. I swear, there has to be a better way to do this…

Read. Go. Now.

And some funny now. To take the edge off of things…

By the way, water is a good way to choke back tears. A sip or two makes you swallow just enough to choke back that choked-up reaction. So… yeah. T_T

Thank you, and have a nice day.


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Every once and a while, I draw stuff.

You are here <— just in case you got lost or something

This is where I hang out right now <— This one just looks cooler. But the coding glitches when I paste what’s here there. *shrugs*


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