Press Evert to Start… o.o…

Good morning, good evening, good afternoon… … …

Abandon all hope, all ye who play me

For the love of sanity, do not play this game. It will warp your mind and stunt your ability to function normally. I got hives just watching the first few vids of DC’s play-through. Cosmic horrors, decaying worlds, and hands made out of/coated with blood. And oh dear sweet Gob, the endings. The endings… … … O_O…

Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever thought so profoundly about ‘what is good’ and ‘what is evil’ in my entire life. So you mileage may vary. But I wet my pants when I watched Psycho. Chocolate syrup or no, that shower scene will forever scare me. (I blame my grandmother: No kid who was afraid of Cabbage Patch Kids at 5 should watch Hitchcock before the age of 9. And don’t ask me about The Birds…) I just can’t do any kind of horror-based entertainment. Even if it’s pixelated. -_-;

And here, I think, shall be my rant for the day.

Why on earth do humans go out of their way to scare themselves? I don’t get the appeal. I thought the point of evolving was to keep ourselves out of trouble so that we van live calmer lives so that we can live long and fulfilling lives. And yet we have Slasher movies, roller coasters, and a holiday that is traditionally about going around and scaring monsters away. (Halloween. Look it up. Neat beginnings.)

Maybe we need to be scared every now and again. But my brain makes up robbers and murders so often I don’t dare try to induce the the effect on purpose. Creepy things fascinate me and I might flirt with the macabre every so often. But there is a line, a clear one at that.

One could say that Eversion actually falls into a kind of personal Uncanny Valley of mine: I prefer my games cute. Sickeningly so. (I do think I was Japanese in a past life.) Most of the time, I actually like it when the cute-bar gets shoved below or above it’s own means. Kirby acting evil because of a virus? Awesome. A black hedgehog wielding weaponry and cussing (sort of)? Bad controls, awful camera, and insane amounts of AI rubber-banding, but not necessarily a bad idea. But changing the entire character of a game with little warning and at such a drastic clip (about three stages in, everything gushes blood and bloody hands jut out of the ground…) … My mind is still staggering from the mental blow. Honest, I was ready to puke. I’m… ready to puke now… @_@

Ugh… need to stop thinking about it. I should watch some cartoons or something. -_-;

Thank you, and have a nice day.

Afterthought: no, I will not link you directly to the game. The last link to it’s review is as close as I get. You can forage from there, yes? ^_^;;;; I refuse. I… I might download it if I find it. T_T


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